This is the One Essential Coaching Skill for Business Leaders
How to ask a question
There is significant buzz around the contention that business leaders should coach as well as manage their people. Management involves setting direction and assuring results – activities for which coaching takes a back seat. But broader business leadership also involves empowering others, developing their skills, and motivating them – activities that definitely require coaching skills. This explains why Google’s Project Oxygen listed “being a good coach” as one of the 10 leading characteristics of a capable manager.
But what is it that makes a leader a good coach? One essential skill tops the list. While a stereotypical (and bad) boss just gives orders, a coach asks questions. Instructions may drive compliance, but questions drive growth.
Perhaps it’s more accurate to say useful questions drive growth. Asking a good question can be a powerfully positive tool, just as asking a bad one can be a deflator. Genuinely asked, a question demonstrates personal humility, trust in others, curiosity, and a willingness to learn. All of which reflect positive personal qualities on you, the questioner, and play a role in the leader’s ability to develop, empower, and motivate others. Even better, in listening, the questioner receives. They gain a perspective they cannot see without the help of another – helping to shape their own world view and influencing the direction they set and how they assure results.
Six Simple Steps to Better Questions
Ready to up the quality of your questions? These simple steps are the fastest way to raise your coaching game:
Start your question with “What ___?”
Of the “Journalist’s Ws” (who, what, when, where and why), “What” is the best choice. That’s because it invites as broad a response as the responder might choose. It is not overly specific, like who, when or where. Most importantly, it avoids the potentially accusatory feel of “Why”. “Why” often provokes justification, while “What” invites exploration and growth. If you challenge yourself, nearly every question of impact can be phrased starting with “What.”
Listen to the entire answer
The hard part is listening fully, without thinking about what you will say in response.
Picturing the truism of two ears and one mouth, you may think to yourself, “ears really are twice as important.” Your goal is to allow the person you are coaching to discover insight. Give them your attention.Observe as well as listen
Use the mind’s significant speed advantage over the spoken word to your advantage. While listening, you also have plenty of time to observe non-verbal cues, put yourself in the speaker’s shoes, and internalize both tangible and intangible information. All of this can inform your next words.
Follow with another question
Having fully listened to their response, follow your first question with an appropriate, genuine, interested second and third question. Start those questions with the magic opener, “What ...”
Acknowledge what they have said in a genuine way
Find ways to let the person you are coaching know that you have heard them. Some of your options include a brief restatement, a follow-up question, acknowledging the emotions in play, or saying you understand.
Thank them for sharing their answers with you
The responder has shared something of themselves with you. Thanking them for that sharing improves your chances that they will do so again.
Sharpening this essential skill of asking questions will make you a better coach. This in turn helps you be a better leader.
Has increasing your question-asking skill made you a better leader? Would you like help getting even better? Either way, feel free to get in touch.